Little Milestones: First Sleepover

One of the joys of parenthood is witnessing your child’s many milestones, and this summer we enjoyed many, including our four year old’s  first sleepover. 

Many moons ago when our kiddos were toddlers, my mom friends and I talked about sleepovers. At the time, we were first-time moms reminiscing on our child-free days. Wouldn’t it be great to take turns hosting a sleepover so parents can enjoy a night out. Sounds like a dream. So when is an appropriate age for sleepovers? At age 4, 5, 6, 8, 10? It all depends on the child, sleep habits, social skills, emotional maturity, and independence. And if the child is comfortable around the host parents and their home. 

Is My Child Ready for a Sleepover?

This summer we hit a little milestone: Lady Yeya’s first sleepover. The idea materialised when  Kenz and I couldn’t find a babysitter for our long-awaited Pearl Jam concert at BST Hyde Park. So I raised the idea with Lady Yeya’s BFF’s mom and she thought it would be fun. Then I thought to myself: is Lady Yeya ready for her first night away from us? Whilstmthere are no hard and fast rules on this topic, I went through a mental checklist. 

Friendship between Kids and Parents

I would say the first golden rule is how well you know the other family. Equally important is if your kiddos enjoy each other’s company. If “drop off” playdates have been a success with no drama, crying, or tantrums, then that’s great.  It’s so sweet to see friendships blossom. To be honest, there are only one or two families I would allow Lady Yeya to have a sleepover at. My rule of thumb: if I can list them as emergency contacts for Lady Yeya, then it is definitely a friend I can trust. The feeling should be mutual too. 

Social Skills, Good Manners, and Emotional Maturity

Having social skills to behave, good manners, and emotional maturity are all important aspects of being independent. Only you know your child. Listen to your gut instinct whether you think your child has these skills to cope with a new sleeping arrangement without you.  I debated this topic with Kenz if we felt Lady Yeya was ready. Every kid has their moments and tantrums are unavoidable. As parents, we put a lot of effort in giving Lady Yeya the coping mechanisms to work through her big emotions and express her feelings. 

Good Sleeping Habits

Sleepovers are only as good if your child sleeps, for the host parent’s sake. If your child can put him/her to sleep without help from you and can sleep through the night uninterrupted, this is golden. If sleep is an issue, then I would draw the line as I don’t think it would be fair for the host family or for your child. Sleepovers are meant to be fun, not a traumatic experience for the child. Lucky for us, Lady Yeya is a rock solid sleeper. 

Independence & Confidence 

Independence means your child has no separation anxiety about the thought of being away from you overnight. It also means your child can take care of their personal needs such as using the bathroom, brushing their teeth, and changing their pyjamas. They should also be able to communicate and ask adults for help or when they need something. Again, only you can be the judge of this. If your child doesn’t like new situations or new routines, a sleepover may be too overwhelming for them. 

Excitement about Sleepover

Lastly they should express excitement about the idea of having a sleepover. I always tell Lady Yeya that sleepovers are a reward for good behaviour and good listening. She has to earn it, just like how she earns her screen time. There are lots of books about sleepovers and I always remind her that she must be polite and respectful to parents and adults.

First Sleepover Success

Lady Yeya had a great time at her first sleepover.  It was a win-win for both parents too. We hosted Lady Yeya’s BFF during the day so her parents could enjoy some down-time. And the host parents picked up Lady Yeya around 5pm for the sleepover. And we were off for a  fun evening at the Pearl Jam concert. I look forward to returning the favour soon where I can host a sleepover at ours. 

It is perfectly fine if your child is not ready. You don’t want their first sleepover to be a traumatic experience. It should be a memorable little milestone that you will all cherish.