Dropping the Nap: How to Survive!

Are you a parent of a toddler in denial about dropping the nap? You are not alone! I was in denial too until naps became my enemy no. 1. All good things come to an end and it was time to start dropping the nap! 

For parents with young toddlers, naps are sacred. Your toddler is getting much-needed rest, and parents to get things done around the house.  On the list includes: tidying up, chores, online shopping, cooking, or simply to chill and mindlessly stroll on social media. The mantra goes “nap time is the best time.”  So what happens when your toddler goes from two-hour naps to no naps? It’s high time for dropping the nap and welcome the concept of “quiet time.”

Naps are an integral part of a toddler’s life for the first several years. We are all too familiar with nap transitions which happen very quickly. Over 18 months, naps slowly consolidated to one long mid-day nap. These glorious two-hour naps slowly go away as your toddler grows. Yes, it’s a sign that your toddler is now a big kid. 

When to Start Dropping the Nap

There is no hard or fast rule when toddlers should be dropping the nap. It depends on a number of factors such as the number of hours and quality of sleep at night, wake-up time, and general mood of the child.  At 2-2.5 years old, toddlers need about 12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. Their “awake” time is now 5.5 -6 hours. In Lady Yeya’s case, the maths were no longer stacking up. 

• Lady Yeya is a brilliant sleeper. She sleeps for a solid 12 hours at night from 8 pm to 8 am. Before dropping the nap, she also took at least a 90-minute mid-day snooze. 
• With her “awake” time at 5.5 – 6 hours, this puts naps between 1:30 pm – 2 pm. The thing was she was never tired enough for a nap by 2 pm. Sometimes she would nap, but other times she will play in her cot straight through her nap. As a general rule, we cut her off from her naps by 3 pm at the latest regardless. Cutting her nap before the 1-hour mark does cause some fuss. But I’d rather take some fuss than the whole bedtime resistance.
• Then, it is another 5.5-6 hours of “awake” time before bedtime with afternoon activities, dinner, and the normal bedtime routine. This puts bedtime between at 8:30 pm – 9 pm, sometimes even later, as late as 9:30 pm. This is too late for a toddler and cuts into Mum and Dad’s “Netflix and Chill” hour.

Lady Yeya was never tired by nap time, or even at bedtime. Because of this, we would read together for over an hour twice a day during the lockdown. Even with that, she showed no signs of tiredness. She wasn’t expending enough energy in the mornings to warrant a mid-day nap. Prior to the lockdown, she would go to music and dance classes, softplays, and other playdates that she was out like a light by naptime. The twice a day “sleep resistance-angst-one more story” antics were starting to grate on us, so much that naps weren’t worth it anymore. The once-beloved naps became our enemy No 1. We’re better off transitioning to quiet time to regain some our sanity. It was sadly time to drop the nap.

Tips for Dropping the Nap

• Explain the Concept of “Quiet Time”:  I am a big believer that communication is key with toddlers. Don’t underestimate how much your toddler understands. We explained to Lady Yeya that she is now a big girl. Sometimes big girls aren’t tired enough for a nap. We also explained that instead of naps, we need some “quiet time” so your body can rest and have the energy for an afternoon walk later with her “brother” Buddy. 

• Check the “Cranky” Factor  Daily: It will take a few weeks for your toddler to transition from naps to no naps. We also gauge Lady Yeya’s mood around lunchtime to see if a nap is necessary. We watch for telltale signs of tiredness such as yawning, eye-rubbing, and overall crankiness, especially on days when she gets less than 12 hours of nighttime sleep. On those days, I would encourage a mid-day nap, but if she resists then I’ll keep to low energy afternoon activities to prevent major meltdowns at dinner. I won’t lie here. We did have some major meltdowns at dinner with Lady Yeya being super fussy about E-V-E-R-Y little thing down to the colour of her spoons. On tougher days like this, we skip the bath altogether and go for some extra cuddles before bed.

• Create a “Calm” Environment: After lunch, we give her the option to have “quiet time” either in her room or in the living room. We like to create a relaxing environment by dimming the lights and play calming music, so much so that Kenz and I find myself taking a mid-day snooze with her at times. During quiet time, we always put on a nappy (she is potty trained) in case she does fall asleep for a cat nap. I made this mistake and Lady Yeya ended up peeing in her cot during her 20-minute catnap. 

• Avoid Car or Buggy Journeys: In the earlier days of the no-nap transition, watch out during car journeys and walks in the buggy. You may find a drowsy toddler nodding off at 4 pm which will only create bedtime troubles. Avoid at all cost. It isn’t fun putting your toddler to bed at 10 pm. Take a short walk to keep your toddler stimulated and awake. 

• Bring Forward Bedtime: If you are dreading saying goodbye to the mid-day nap, don’t fret because chances are that your toddler will go bed earlier. Bring forward the bedtime routine, that means a slightly earlier dinner, bath, and bed. Yes, this means you can get “Me Time” sooner. Rejoice!

In Summary

If your little one is showing telltale signs such as taking too long to fall asleep during naps or at bedtime, uninterrupted 11-12 hours of nighttime sleep, and in a good mood by the end of the afternoon, s/he may be ready to drop the nap. It may be a hard reality for some parents, but it’s all part of growing into a big kid. The upside is that planning day time activities are in some ways easier, and you get an extra hour or so of “Me Time” in the evenings. 

What was your experience with dropping the nap?