Let’s Talk about Sleep, Baby

Six year sleep deprivation for new parents? No thank you, so let’s talk about sleep, baby. It’s a combination of genetics, gentle sleep training, and bedtime consistency for a blissful night’s rest. 

I was catching up with a mom friend recently who is days away from giving birth to her second child. She confessed that she wasn’t looking forward to severe sleep deprivation. Not only will she need to nurse her newborn around the clock, but her firstborn won’t fall asleep alone. So we got on the topic: let’s talk about sleep, baby. In particular, what she would do differently as a second time parent when it comes to baby sleep. My mom friend asked me for some sleeping tips. I had to pause and reflect. It’s probably nothing she doesn’t already know. Honestly, I think it is a combination of genetics, gentle sleep training, and consistent bedtime routine. And then we got talking about all things baby sleep. 

So let’s talk about sleep, baby. 
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be. 

Genetic Factor: The Making of a Good Sleeper 

I read somewhere that some babies are natural sleepers thanks to a combination of easy-going temperament and genetics. In my family, we  joke all the time that we hope that the grandkids will inherit their late grandmother Chan’s “sleepy genes.” My mother was a serial napper and can virtually fall asleep anywhere. Like her late grandmother, Lady Yeya loves her sleep, and as a result, we get our sleep too! Despite Lady Yeya being generally a good sleeper with a calm demeanour, we still experienced the dreaded baby sleep regressions. 

After Lady Yeya’s four month sleep regression, we couldn’t cope with rocking her sleep, only to put her down for her to wake up. And repeat for at least three times before she finally nodded off. It was exhausting. We also were not keen to form bad sleeping habits or develop any sleep associations. So early on, we decided on some gentle sleep training when Lady Yeya was six months old. 

Sleep Training: The Art of Self-Soothing 

Sleep training is essentially the art of teaching your baby how to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own. In the process, they are able to consolidate sleep cycles and sleep through the night. Some parents are adamant to do sleep training pronto so parents and baby get much needed sleep. The sooner we sort out the sleep issues, the better for all of us. And yes, sleep does a body good. 

There are so many sleep training methods from the Cry-It-Out, Faber, Chair Method and Pick-Up/Put-Down. I am by no means a baby sleep expert and I share this based on my own experience. I always tell my mom friends to find a sleep training method that works for you and your parenting style. 

After reading numerous sleep training articles and speaking to my mom friends, we decided on the Faber Method. The overall approach seems logical as the aim is to teach your baby self-soothing skills, but at the same time give your baby reassurance and comfort. In other words, it is a gentle approach to sleep training.  According to the Faber Method, you put your baby down drowsy but awake following your normal bedtime routine. If your baby cries, enter the room after 2-3 minutes to give reassurance and comfort with gentle pats, but do not pick them up or feed them. Repeat this process in timed intervals until your baby falls asleep on their own. 

Initially, sleep training was emotionally exhausting, but we got there after one week of gentle sleep training. Remember you are teaching your baby the very important skill of independence, and that can only be a good thing. It may be rough at the beginning, but there’s a saying: “short-term pain, long-term gain.” 

Bedtime Routine: Bath, Book, Bed

We have had the same bedtime routine with Lady Yeya since birth that includes bath, book, and bed. Everyone tells me that a good bedtime routine makes a huge difference between good sleep habits and sleepless nights. Sure there were minor adjustments as Lady Yeya got older such as using the potty, but the general routine remains consistent. As the singer-songwriter Adele said, “consistency is the gift to give for free, and it is key.” Routine and consistency goes hand-in-hand. Both are important in establishing good sleep hygiene.

Other tips for Blissful Sleep

In addition to consistency, other things we do to avoid bed-time chaos include:

• Give Choices: To avoid bedtime power struggle, we let her pick three books for some bedtime reading and snuggling. Often these are the same books we have been reading for weeks. Sometimes she will ask for a new book. Parents, embrace the repetition. The reading session also allows us to bond and debrief about her day. It’s all very sweet. 
• Create Good Sleeping Environment: To create an optimal sleep environment, we use blackout blinds to block out the light especially in the summer months. Her room is also set up with smart Hue lights which we can control the brightness factor on our phones. Additionally, we also play some relaxing Disney Lullabies on her Sonos during her bedtime routine. 
• Cuddle a Soft Toy: To provide extra snuggle, every child has a favourite stuffed animal. My daughter’s favourite cuddle toy is this lavender-scented “warmable” panda that she found at Aldi of all places. With calming and sedative properties, I think lavender helps my daughter relax and fall asleep. I love the smell of lavender so every night I would use some lavender pillow spray before bed. 

Then it’s a big hug and good night kiss before she drifts off into a deep slumber. 

So let’s talk about sleep, baby. Sweet Dreams. And mom and dad can enjoy that glass of wine, Netflix, and blissful sleep.