Potty Training Like a Rockstar

With the Covid-19 lockdown and the warmer weather forecasted over Easter, we started on Project “Potty like a Rockstar” aka potty training our then 26-month-old toddler. Yes, potty training! Kenz and I are lucky to dodge the bullet of sleep training or any major sleep regressions as Lady Yeya is a great sleeper. I knew Project “Potty like a Rockstar” would be challenging and a real test of patience for us parents. I thought she was ready, and I was ready, so I thought…

The first attempt of “Potty like a Rockstar” was disastrous. I lost my cool. Lady Yeya was miserable and so was I. In fact, I felt so crummy that I self-isolated in the office for the morning just to recover from three miserable days of failed potty training. It was a lot harder than I anticipated, a lot harder. So we put on a pause on it and she was once again a happy and smiley toddler. 

Then, fast forward 6 weeks later, we restarted Project “Potty like a Rockstar” with a different strategy and relaxed approach. Well, guess what? Lady Yeya nailed it within a week! 

Read on for my experience and tips. But let me start with some basics on potty training. 

“Oh Crap” in a Nutshell

After talking to some mums on the road, we used the method in the “Oh Crap” Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki, otherwise known as the “bible” of potty training books. 

Broadly speaking, Glowacki suggests using “blocks” to help teach your toddler how to use the potty. There’s no hard and fast “timescale” with each block since every child is different. The idea is that your child “gets” the idea of each “block” and you can move on to the next block. Not only are you teaching your toddler how to use the potty with a specific outcome, but you are also teaching them the awareness of needing to use the potty.  

• Block One: Peeing and pooping while naked, with prompting or without.
• Block Two: Peeing and pooping with clothes on (but no underpants) with prompting or without.
• Block Three: Peeing and pooping in different situations, with prompting or without.
• Block Four: Peeing and pooping with underpants, with prompting or without.
• Block Five: Consistent self-initiation (meaning your child will go potty without your prompting).
• Block Six: Dry nighttime and naps.

This sounds fairly intuitive, but how do we know that my child is ready for potty training? According to Glowacki, the ideal “window” is between 20 and 30 months. Any earlier, your child may not have control of their bladder. Any later may result in some challenging power struggles as your toddler exerts their independence. During this “golden” window of 20-30 months, your child is very eager to please and very receptive to praises. Other indicators that your child is ready according to Glowacki: 

• Do they go off by themselves to poop? Does your child go to a private place to do their poos? Does your child have fewer wet nappies? This means that your child has good control of their bladder and is aware of the “urge” to poo. 
• Can they communicate their needs? For example, can they ask for water, rice snack, apple, banana or milk? It’s great that your toddler can tell you what s/he needs especially if they need the potty. 
• Can they sing the ABC song? It doesn’t have to be the ABC song, it could be any favourite nursery rhyme or book. The point is that your toddler can learn by repetition, and will be more receptive to learn by repetition. 

This all sounds sensible. Lady Yeya often hides in a corner when doing a poo and without fail, always wants her nappy changed after a poo. She has no problems communicating her needs, for example, if she wants to sleep or need help. She has also memorised so many of her favourite books because we read them over and over and over. Kenz and I have learnt very quickly to embrace the repetition that comes with parenthood. These are all positive signs that she was ready for potty training. Great, let’s get rocking. 

Potty Like A Rockstar – Round 1: What Went Wrong?

We have been talking about the “potty” to Lady Yeya for a few months since she turned two, letting her sit on the potty before bath even if she doesn’t do her business. The idea is to get her comfortable about using the potty, both the normal toilet and her little potty. 

We told her that potty training means “no more nappies” and she understood that. But I failed to explain that potty training also means pee and poo in the potty. Toddlers take things literally so it is worth investing some time explaining, reading, and watching a few videos on potty training.

On Day 1, I had everything set out – her potty on the training mat, cleaning sprays, and extra clothes. I let her go full commando as discussed on Block One. Kenz was on hand to provide moral support and encouragement for both of us, making sure his diary was light so he can help where he can. Day 1 was exactly what was expected: lots of accidents and exhaustion. We had four accidents and a live poo on the floor. Literally and figuratively “oh crap!” I painstakingly watched her like a hawk and somehow still missed her pee cues, mostly because she was clueless herself. To cap off the day, Lady Yeya peed in the bath after spending over 30 minutes trying to get her to pee in the potty. She refused but once she got into the bath, she peed straight away. It was a long and exhausting day. 

On Day 2, I woke up being hopeful that she would make some progress today. I mean a huge win would be if she peed, even a little, in the potty. She had two accidents within two hours in the morning. I noticed it as she was peeing but it was too late to get her on the potty. It’s harder than you think keeping an eagle eye on a little toddler! Naptime couldn’t come around sooner, time to recoup and pray for a more successful afternoon.

Post nap with her business all done in the nappy, Lady Yeya didn’t pee for nearly 3 hours from 4 pm- 7 pm. Seriously, how does a toddler hold it for so long? I was worried she might get a bladder infection. Going to the hospital was the last thing I wanted given the latest with Covid-19. I tried everything to encourage her to pee: Princess Polly on her iPad, favourite snacks, and diluted fruit juice. Nothing. My patience was running thin at this point! 

I was so determined to get Lady Yeya to pee in the potty before bath time, but it turned into a real power struggle. She was defiant and tears ensued to a point where she had an accident. This was Glowacki’s cardinal rule: avoid power struggles during potty training as it will backfire. A lose-lose scenario. And Glowacki was right. I made that major mistake and felt awful about it. 

On Day 3, I was ready to throw in the towel and I dreaded another day of potty training. Kenz and I decided that we will pause potty training if the morning doesn’t go well. Three days in without any real progress was utterly deflating. That morning was equally frustrating. After a huge cup of milk and three hours later, she sat on her potty for over an hour but no result. Nothing. 

Needless to say, I aborted Project “Potty like a Rockstar.” I was losing my mind and Lady Yeya was very unhappy. That evening, Lady Yeya went to bed with her Dadda reading her favourite books. In her sweet little mind, she said “Yeya is already done with potty training. All done.” Ummm not quite. 

Dadda said: “Did you like potty training?”

Lady Yeya: “No”

I went to bed early feeling bad that Lady Yeya and I were both upset by this less than ideal potty training experience. We’ll wait another 4-6 weeks before the next attempt. Until then, I diligently reread chapters of Glowacki’s book to understand what went wrong. 

Potty Like A Rockstar – Round 2: Success! 

Project “Potty Like a Rockstar” Round 2 was a success! Lady Yeya was so pleased and happy and is loving all the praise when she does her business. Equally mom and dad are excited and relieved that the whole experience was positive this time around. 

Although Day 1 initially had three accidents (plus a poo in the bath) in the morning, she managed to do her business in the potty later in the day. Hooray! It was also encouraging for us parents as I worried about a repeat scenario from the last round. The rest of the week up to Day 7 was mixed with a few dry days and some accidents. The worst day by far was Day 6 when she had three accidents including poo in her underpants. Lady Yeya learned the “urge” to pee and learned very quickly that she didn’t like wetness on her clothes. 

After Day 7, she hit a stride where she only had 1 accident in the last 10 days. She’s also gotten to a point where she tells us that she needs the potty and goes straight away. On Day 8, she even did a poo in the big potty. Woohoo! Although she still struggles with pooping in the potty or toilet, this will be work in progress for us over the next few months. 

This time around, I followed Glowacki’s framework and principles but deviated on several points to fit around our normal routine. For example, from Day 1 we wore underpants from and took daily walks usually after a solid pee because I didn’t want the whole potty training to disrupt her normal routine. Lady Yeya was happier this way, and has yet to have an accident outside the home. 

We are about six weeks into our “Potty like a Rockstar” potty training journey and Lady Yeya nailed Blocks 1 to 5. As for the holy grail of Block 6 of dry overnight and naps, this will be a work in progress. To be honest, because Lady Yeya is a heavy sleeper, I don’t think she will be ready for nighttime potty training for a couple of years.

Tips and Advice from my own Experience

For parents and toddlers starting on the potty training journey, below are tips and advice from my own experience: 

• Communication / Prepping for the Big Day: Preparation and organisation pays off. Pick a time, ideally during the summer months, where you can focus on potty training. About a week before you start potty training, start communicating to your child about potty training by watching Princess Polly, Pirate Pete, Danny Tiger’s Potty Training or other potty training books. We’ve let Lady Yeya watch us go pee for a few months prior and let your child get used to sitting on the potty every day. As with everything in life, communication is key! 
• Underpants or No Underpants: Glowacki recommends waiting at least three or more weeks before putting on underpants to avoid confusion with the nappy. This is where I digressed from Glowacki’s book and let my toddler wear her Peppa Pig underpants from the start because well, it was more dignified to wear underpants than letting her go commando. Glowacki’s point is valid. Lady Yeya pooped twice in her tight training underpants because it felt like a nappy. If it continued to cause a problem after Day 7, I’d happily ditch the underpants, but wearing Peppa Pig underpants didn’t cause any issues for us. 
• Sticker Reward System: We had a basic sticker reward system to track her progress. She would get a sticker for every pee or poo in the potty. If she was accident-free for a few consecutive days or did a poo in the potty, she got a new figurine to join her collection of Peppa Pig and friends. Lady Yeya was proud of all the stickers. It is very tempting to bribe your toddler with snacks and an episode of Peppa Pig in return for a pee in the potty. Glowacki would suggest you avoid this altogether, and she’s right. Lady Yeya would use it as an excuse for one more episode of her favourite show. I immediately stopped when it started to become a bad habit. 
• Praises, Praises, More Praises: Hand in hand with the sticker reward system was praise and lots of praising and positive reinforcement. I mean, bring in the cheerleader brigade, honk the horns, make a big deal about each and every success in the potty. Each night before bed, we give praise and tell her how proud we were of her and her potty training progress. 
• Avoid the Power Struggle: The power struggle is real and by all means, try to avoid this. I learned the hard way. Frustration will escalate quickly and derail all your efforts. This also includes over prompt — it’s annoying for us, so it must be annoying for the kids. A gentle reminder every 20 minutes should be fine at the start. Soon enough she’ll be able to communicate to you directly without any prompting. 
• Patience, patience, patience: My advice to parents getting started on their potty training journey is to be mentally ready for this challenge. Patience is a virtue. The whole potty training experience takes a lot of patience. The earlier days may be frustrating but remember you are teaching your child a new life skill. With each day, your toddler is learning the “awareness” to go pee and that’s progress. Don’t be surprised if your toddler tells you she needs to go pee but it was a false alarm. This is a good sign. She is aware that her bladder is getting full but not full enough to go pee. She may have these false alarms for over an hour before a real pee in the potty. The key here is to have patience! 

My final word is to be relaxed and make this a positive experience for your toddler. Soon she will be “Potty like a Rockstar”. Good luck parents! You got this!